My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
