It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
