bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
