i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
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Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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