watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
