No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
