some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
