Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
