I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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