I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
