I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
