and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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