Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
