the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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