I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize