Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Your dad touched me again.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
