is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
