i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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