its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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