It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
COCAINE IS GR8
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
