The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
