I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We need to rekindle our bromance
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
