im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
