3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
