Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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