Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I lost the right to judge tonight
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
