Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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