i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
