Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
