dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
