Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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