definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
