bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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