I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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