its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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