She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Randomize
