I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
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I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
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Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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