i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Randomize
