He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
