i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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