Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
