Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
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I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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