i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize