I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
