I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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