she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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