I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize