never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize