I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
