Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
