I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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