the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
