they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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