So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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