That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
